Ifeanyi Onyeji is the self proclaimed youngest man in Igbo land. He uses this column to discuss happenings, events  and cultures of the Igbo people.  Of course, from time to time, he answers questions from his understaning of the igbo culture.  

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This month -Ifeanyi Onyeji addresses an issues that many Igbo Africans in the Diaspora often deal with.  What do you do if you find yourself in love with someone who is non Igob?  Enjoy the letter.  Enjoy Ifeanyi's response to this letter.

I am in Igbo girl brought up in Ireland, UK.  I have fallen in love with from Ireland but my parents want me to marry an Igbo man. They have refused to accept him.  As an Igbo woman - how do I deal with this issue?  I really love this guy and beyond the fact that he isn't Igbo, he is perfect.  

Nkechi

Ifeanyi's response:

This is an opening to discuss igbo culture in regards to marriage.  We will be looking at the marriage system in Igbo, we will be looking at intercultural marriages and what it brings into the marriage, the community.  The advantages and the disadvantages.  

Let's listen to this song. 

Many igbo parents are very wary about their family members marrying out of the Igbo community.  They might accept another Nigerian but to marry someone of a different race - that might be problematic because our cultures and our ways of life is very different.  It is believed that a man of a different race will not understand the cultures and ways of life of the Igbo community.  

Nkechi, you didn't tell us if this guy is willing to go to Nigeria to do the traditional ceremony?  Is he willing to have your mother come in for the naming ceremony.  

Nkechi, you have to think about your parents.  Think about this, how will you feel if you put yourself in your parents shoes.  Your parents worked hard, and sent you out side the country to study and worked hard to ensure that you are happy and now you want to throw that all away.  That will definitely make them cry and be upset. Let's listen to more music.

You know that we have a proverb that what a child has to stand up to see, an elder sees it sitting down.  You know that love does a lot to person but you know that it goes kokorom.  Our cultures aren't the same. Yes, you might get married, yes you might be happy. 

Music

But, let me make it clear there is nothing wrong with marrying out of your race, there are some that it works from but many that it doesn't work.  Look around and find another Nigerian to get married to.  If you look around the world - Nigerians tend to remain within a marriage the longest. Just remember that the way it starts is often not how it ends.  

Do remember that children that are Nigerian are beautiful.

But if you have any further questions, please send your questions to us. 

We are ending this podcast by listening to the voice of Francis Duru. 

listen to podcast

You can also listen to Ifeanyi's column on igbokwenu radio.  We are super duper excited about this.  We look forward to more partnerships.  

Please note - these are Ifeanyi's opinions and this site should not be held liable for them.