Dear Men and Women,

On Saturday, I was dancing through several people’s face book pages and I came across a picture of a white dad taking out his black adopted daughter’s braid.  His name is Frank Sommervile and he happens to be a reporter.  My first thought was how sweet particularly since I know  how careful you will need to be to take off each braid bit by bit without breaking  her hair or causing pain.  Braids can be a pain.  But, imagine my surprise as I read the comments below the picture.  This guy was being heralded as the second coming of Christ as many women were amazed that a father will take off time off his busy schedule to take care of his daughter’s hair.  Huh?

What gives?  Women have we set the standards so low that anything a man does that was considered normal back in the day seems a big deal today.  Wow.  How many people grew up with dad’s that played house with them, dad’s that helped them with their homework and for many of us with a slight mischevious ilk when our toys weren’t enough,  how many of you turned your dad into a big doll.  I wasn’t really into dolls as a child but my sister was and I remember  that we climbed behind my daddy as he slept and braided his hair which we forgot to take out and he ended up taking that style to a function.  All he said when people asked him questions was that this was the hardwork of his daughters.  He said this with pride too.  

Dear women, if you expect a guy to behave in a particular way, do not be surprised if he does.  If you do not set the standard in which certain behaviors are really normative rather than above expectations then don’t be surprised if we keep on getting men who do not know the meaning of love or what fatherly expectations are.Men who feel that bailing out on responsibility and leaving all responsibility in the hands of the mother is the way to go.   Dear women, what Frank did is normal.  He was taking care of his child.  A behavior that is normal.  He was choosing to spend quality time with his child without the wrangling or drama  or the court actions  and that is normal.  His choice has nothing to do with his race rather it has to do with a characteristic of being a father, a characteristic that every man should have regardless of his color.

Dear men, I know that we’ve been told that there is a dirth in the amount of men out there.  In some parts of the world it is about 3 females to 1 male and this dirth has made many men believe that they are gods.  We've been told that certain behaviors that we expect from MEN will only come from whipped men who haven’t seen the light of day.  But, please realize that many women are waking up to the fact that there are behaviors that are acceptable and others that are unacceptable, so do not be surprised that as our daughters watch and learn that they are picking up ideas of what they won’t put up with and you might find out that in the future, that this dirth will just be a dirth and it won’t really be a factor in any decision that a female makes.  She will only date you, marry you or allow you to impregnate her if you fit the bill of responsibility, love and care.

P.