South Africa's polygamous President Jacob Zuma married his fourth current wife on Friday, the sixth time the 70-year-old has tied the knot.

Africa is a very interesting place, quite fascinating I often say.  A continent filled with contrasts.  A continent made up of double standards particularly when the issue of gender roles come into play. On April 20, 2012, President Jacob Zuma, a man of high social standing got married for the sixth time to his fourth wife and society barely said a word.  I've often wondered in the deep recesses of the night what will happen if this were the reverse.  That is,  a woman of high political position in Africa, decides to get married multiple times and not neccesarily at the same time.  News networks will be agog as society will jump in to label and preserve their ideology of what women are supposed to be.   

What will make a young woman in her thirties decide to marry a man in his seventies.  It can't be sex.  I doubt very much that he will be able to keep up, particularly as women supposedly reach their sexual peak from their late thirties to their forties.  Could it be power?  You know being a president's wife. Could it be prestige and money?  Having access to the fine things of life without really working as hard.  You put in night duty, once a month, if that, and yet you get to have a driver, a house, exotic vacations and get people to look at you with awe and reverence.  Could it be that because she is in her mid thirties- society has already classified her as a has been and this was her only chance to get married even if it is to someone who was and is still married several times over?  I've often wondered what makes semi educated or educated women make certain decisions that do not sit well with the amount of exposure that they've had.

Many women will term what the fourth wife is doing as simply greed.  You know, wanting to reap where one didn't sow.  Wanting to get what she didn't cry for.  But, I think using greed as an explanation is simply too simplistic.  We have to look at her placement in society, an African society and what her marriage into power brings on.  As much as we do not want to say this but really when you take away the lime light and our supposed modernity - a woman in Africa is authentically held in respect when she is married with children and running her home quietly.  Then she is viewed as trustworthy and responsible enough to hold any political or economic position that she wants.  This is keeping it real.  Maybe we really need to start looking at what we consider as being 'right' and 'fair'? As we look into those terms, let's also look at what we consider as being empowerment?  Are our modern African women empowered enough to go for what they want regardless of how society views them?  Is empowerment only via marriage?

Now, the question is what will make a man who should be thinking about retirement decide to take on a young wife as his fourth wife?  Beyond, the fact that he can because Africa gives him that allowance and many more.  Maybe, he is suffering from the  'trophy wife' disease.  We see basketballers, musicians and those who live in the public gaze, often do things like that. Maybe he needs some young, eye candy on his arm to venerate him and make him seem like a man in the public.  Or maybe, the explanation is pretty simple - maybe he fell in love for the sixth time.  Now, not knocking love because love can happen to anyone at anytime and anywhere but I still wonder if he was a woman will we give him second or even the  sixth chance.

You see Polygamy, a marriage institution in which a man can take on as many wives as he wants even if he can't afford it - is a system that has existed in Africa for millions of years.  A system that will keep on existing for many more years to come.  But, the original intent of polygamy has been lost.  It was believed that in agricultural society - a polygamous household was created to help in the farms but we do not have that many agricultural societies anymore.  So why is this still prevalent and being championed by powerful African men?  I think the answer lies in greed and power. Men and Women. 

Men, like President Jacob Zuma, Mswati and many more (even our Naija ones) will keep on doing this, if women do not wake up and smell the coffee.  If women keep on accepting that their role in society is one of being the kept woman.  If women keep on viewing themselves through those lenses that have been passed on for generations.  We need to start asking ourselves what we get from certain arrangements and most importantly can we get these same things on our own.  Dare I add this fascetiously of course, if Polygamy works for men, can we have an alternate marriage institution benefiting women - polyandry anyone?

 

Written By Pamela Stitch

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 02 May 2012 03:53 )