For many Africans, marriage is serious business. Many women want to wear that white gown. While many guys have resigned to the idea , that to be taken seriously as responsible members of African society, they should be married. But, what happens when a marriage goes awry and the woman decides that she wants to go it on her own. Ugochi will be telling her diasporan story every other Tuesday/Thursday here on Pamela's world. We hope....love wantin tin don catch am!

Dear Diary,

Someone got back to me about the propriety of my posts. He believes that my story encourages the break up of marriages.  Quite fascinating if I do say so myself.  How can my story encourage you to do what you are about to do?  Trust me - if a woman or a man is done with the relationship and they are willing to hand over hundreds of pounds or dollars to end a relationship, my personal story won't push them that route unless there is something extra going on in that relationship.  That said, he further believes that my need to   celebrate my divorce via a party is very ungodly.  Well, if we can celebrate engagements, marriages, babies, why can't we celebrate the end of an era.  Particularly, if both parties (well in this case, me) are very content with the split.  Let's be friend's.  Kiss, throw a party, shake it and be happy.  Everything has a time and we all have to recognize when that time is begining and when it is over.  So yes, that party will still take place and I am excited about it.  I won't make it around Christmas because I don't want  a lot of people having a heart attack.  But, if you do agree with him - let me know.  Divorce Party - Tacky or Not.  Unafrican or Not.  Reason to Celebrate or Cry. 

Yvonne has been having a field day with that email.  She is very good with accents...so you know where that's going with that one.   Every time, I post one of my diary entries on here - it seems as if I need a solution to a problem or the other.  Now, it is old news that I am Christian.  My faith is something that has sustained me through my trials and the reason that I am able to look at this situation that would have broken the average woman and still laugh and smile about it.  But, I am in a fix right now.   How do you maintain purity in your relationship?  My boyfriend /man friend (yes, using this word) is hot and honestly, I just want to be with him in a sexual way.  But, I do not want to compromise our beliefs to accommodate anything.  How do Christians do it?  Do they say, since it is only you - I will have sex with you and put it in the context of a marriage, are they laid back about sex or do they honestly abstain?  How do they manage that for as long as they do?  My Nigerian friend is fond of saying  'body no be firewood' but then she is crazy.  What do I do?  You know what I want to do but should I do it.  

Yes, send me nice emails not preachy ones.  I tend to tune off when someone who can't honestly say they've been through a situation or have walked through a situation or walked a friend through a situation tries to preach at me.

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