The Break Up

It begins with a break up.

Not the kind of break up that lends itself to tissues and chocolate peanut butter pie (although I am often tempted to date just to break up, just to fall head first into a justified peanut butter pie coma). But no, no, this is the kind of break up that stems from a chance encounter. This is the break up we have seen played out in nearly every movie that Kate Hudson has graced the screen. Like every classic, often predictable chick flick: the protagonist who seemingly “has it all” settles into a relationship that cheapens her worth. The guy is never around. Married to his work. Flirts with other girls. But said protagonist does not give a second thought to leaving. Or finding better.

Until…that epic chance encounter with a rugged costar who awkwardly bumps into her in the lobby of a hotel or while dog walking (notice how they are always walking their dogs in those movies?).

The girl suddenly finds herself knee-deep in a ruffled mess of clichés. Falling Head Over Heels. Strange Insects Flapping Their Wings Within Her Stomach. Tossing and Turning in Satin Sheets at Night.

So naturally, a break up ensues. The kind where things needed to first Break in order to Look Up.

She is tired of the old. She knows that better exists out there; she’s now seen it with her own two eyes. She decides that enough is enough; a little heartbreak won’t kill her if the weight falls off her shoulders.

I had a break up with my own body.

A Kate Hudson kind of break up with my own self. You want to say it is not possible. I want to say it is quite possible.

We were in a long distance relationship for far too long, as if I were sitting upon a cloud watching a girl live in New York City, swipe her metro card through a turnstile, and bolt off to work without ever stepping foot into her body. She and I, we were forgetting to talk at night. We were barely ever communicating. I stopped listening to what she wanted. She stopped wanting anything at all. This, my friends, is where you need to either take the peanut butter pie to your face and cry on top of a kitchen table or decide to make a split. Change Something. Change Anything at All.

“I want to learn to date Amazement,” I told my friend at a coffee shop one morning. My eyes were tired. My feet were probably swollen from some ridiculous pair of heels. “There is no reason, at all, that I should not be amazed by every little thing around me. I want to be more grateful for all of it.”

Hold Up…I realize right now how very transcendent I sounded in that statement. I can assure you all, I was not trying to date my inner being or make out with trees and butterflies while contemplating my past life as a brick in a castle. (No offense to anyone who has a past life as a brick in a castle. I am sure it was a beautiful one.) I was merely trying to fess up to the fact that I wanted life to court me. I wanted the little things to make my attention more often. I wanted to stand—barefoot and broken open—before a world that surely was broken herself but still had so much Amazement tied in the locks of her spiral-curled hair.

And while Cosmopolitan can shovel ten thousand tips into our digestive tracts about how to date and date “right,” I can sum my quest to date Amazement into three steps. Three Simple Steps. Beat that Cosmo. Come over here, and I’ll show ya how we get things done in this yard.

Step One: Look Up.

Girly girl, if you are spending your days watching your feet prance on concrete, then, rightfully so, you should be a little depressed. We are human beings. Translation: We got Tough Times. Rough Patches. Unfavorable Situations. Wrong Turns. Messy Conversations. Selfish Motives.

Basically, we have these messy, messy lives, and it is kind of a beautiful thing. A wondrous art if you choose to see it that way.

My favorite line ever, even beating the top-notch phrases of Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou, are words written by Chaska Lela Potter before she let Jason Mraz slip ‘em into his sweet lungs: “Hey, what a beautiful mess this is/It’s like picking up trash in dresses.”

Oh My Goodness. Evoke Imagery Right Now. Lace and Silk White Dresses. Brass Buttons. Sheer Veils. Knees Sunk in the Dirt. Dump Yard. Unearthing Treasures in a Trash Field. Call me a garbage man’s daughter, but this is the most beautiful illustration of life that I can find. How amazing it is that we have the chance to pick the treasures from the mess of the world and hold them high up to the light.

There’s no chance we could possibly go another day missing that, needing that, forgetting to look up and realize we have so much of that already.

Step Two: Look Around.

When we finally look up, it becomes easier to tilt our heads this way and that way and Look Around. Look Left. Look Right. Look Both Ways and Cross Streets.

Suddenly, we are swept into a wild courtship with a Messy World that always brings Amazement along on her arm, fitting nicely into the crook of her elbow.

Perhaps this is a kindergarten lesson, but we have Fingers. Knees. Freckles. Legs to Walk. Lips to Kiss. Arms to Embrace. Lungs to Inhale Life’s Sultry Symphonies. We can dance. Now. Laugh. Now. Break Up, Make Up, Show Up. Right Now. And in five minutes. And two hours. And tomorrow. Again and Again and Again.

Amazement in a fine, fine suitor. The debonair skips right over the chocolates and flowers and ties the whole wide world and all its brilliant possibilities up in a silky white bow.

“Here you go,” Amazement says at the door. “And by the way, you have a very pretty face.”

Step Three: Look Inside.

Ah, the place we often never want to look for fear of the mess we might encounter if we pick around too long. Car Crashes of the Soul. Bitter Feelings. A Whole Collection of Pandora Boxes Full of Sadness, Loneliness, and Unhappiness.

But we must go there—with flashlights, sleeping bags, and tents—if we ever pray to be ok with ourselves inside and out and to embrace the Amazing Potential that is praying for release.

Dating Amazement starts when we Let Go of the Mediocre Bindings. The Little Problems that seem Oh So Big. The Feelings that we feel will never end. And we open ourselves up to the truth: We are worth more. There is more than this. We don’t run the show. There is Something or Someone much larger than us that Pumps Amazement into the Place where we Stamp our Feet and Cry out Loud.

Amazement slips in when we admit to being Messes of Skin but admit to wanting something more. Something far beyond average or ordinary.

Be still. Be quiet. Perk your ears up. Can you hear it? Amazement just propped open a window. It is time to crawl through.

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Hannah Brencher is a writer, speaker, and creator pinning her passion to projects that bring the human touch back into the digital age. After spending a year writing and mailing over 400 love letters to strangers across the world, Hannah launched The World Needs More Love Letters in August 2011—a global organization fueled by volunteer “letter writers,” now in fifty states and forty-seven countries. She’s been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Oprah, Glamour, the White House Blog, and is currently a global finalist for the TED2013 Global Talent Search (watch the TED Talk). You can also connect with her on Facebook and Twitte

The mission of Dress for Success is to promote the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life (website).  One of the ways they raise funds to help disadvantaged women is by hosting  power walk events in different states in the United States.  Through these power walks, they raise awareness,  create a feeling of community and of course, they get endorsement and monies from different organizations.  

Since a power walk was involved in the event, my friend knew this will be something that will get me super excited and willing to get involved and he was right. This was an opportunity to meet other sport junkies, those that are committed to community change from the grassroot level, and most importantly, those who feel that everyone needs  a chance to equalize the playing field.  

I was with the Nike team that was there to give out shoes to participants at the event as well as participate. It was a Saturday Morning at Riverside Park on the 11th of May when we gathered for the power walk.  It was drizzling slightly.  There were about one hundred attendees excluding sponsors at the event.  At 10 am, they blew the whistle and we took off.  It was a five mile walk which was divided into sections in which we had little cheer leading teams cheer us on to complete the walk.  It was a lot of fun.  Most importantly, it was an opportunity to show up for something.  Often times, we forget that showing up is one of the most important parts of winning.

The only caveat of the event was the low turn out of people.  Yes,  about one hundred people in a fitness/sports minded place like New York City means that event organizers didn’t do enough in terms of marketing, public relations to get the word out there.  If it had been organized better, it would have had a bigger turn out made up of those who love walking, sports, participating in community events or even those that this event aims to benefit.

Nnena Omali is a Nigerian musician who sings within the genre of Afro Fusion.  She is the artist who sang, ‘kissed’,in which she borrowed heavily from Asa. Her newest song is Kulie Dide which is a song that fuses Igbo and Yoruba and has 9ice contributing more ‘flava’.  As usual, the beginning of the song screams of a borrowed  Francophone West African influence but the song becomes more beautiful as one listens.  For those that are into acoustic sounds, you will love Kulie Dide since the guitar is heavily featured.  

This song asks that we stand up and stop being despondent because today is another opportunity to try again.

Just discovered this song over the weekend, so I might be a little bit late on this but still enjoy. click link.

Take A Listen:  Kulie Dide

Bantu knots

Bantu knots originated from Africa.  I will like to say from  West Africa because that’s where the Bantu ethnic group started from before spreading to different parts of the continent.  The Bantu Knots hairstyle goes by different names around the world.  It might be called duuduubs in the East African region, Zulu knots in the Southern African region and .......?  What do you call Bantu Knots in your region of the world?   Bantu Knots are a great hairstyle to have in your hair style arsenal because of its versatility. Bantu Knots can be worn by anyone with any type of hair.  Your hair could be straight, curly, wavy, super curly etc and it will hold and be beautiful.  I believe that the strength of the Bantu knots actually lies in the patterns that are created on the scalp for the knots.  Those patterns can be so intricate and very beautiful.

How to create Bantu Knots?
a) You will need to clean and  detangle your  hair.
b) shea butter . I use my Dax roots Bergamont butter which is basically a mixture of shea butter, olive oil and some bergamont essential oils.  Loooool.  You see, you do not have to purchase some products if you can create it at home.  :D
c) a spray bottle which could either contain just plain old water or a liquid leave in conditioner or your own aloe vera juice and water mix with a drop of essential oil.  AHEM!  :-D
d) a nice comb with a pointy edge to create patterns on the scalp.  In Nigeria, we call these kinds of combs - ‘parting combs or pattern combs’.
e) 30 mins or less to create a style.  This depends on how large or small you want your knots to be.

To do.
a) Create a pattern on your scalp.  Most people use either diamond or triangular patterns but you can create whatever pattern you want.
b) comb out the hair, spritz on the water or the liquid mixture, put in your Shea butter or whatever buttery mix that you’ve created or purchased and either do a  two strands twist or  a three strand twist.  In Nigeria, we call the three strands twists - ‘Calabar’.
c) Some recommend then putting a dark rubber band or any band that matches the color of your hair at the roots of each twists and then take each twists and wrap it around itself and then tuck the tips into the elastic band.  I am not really a rubber band person unless I am desperate, so I prefer taking each twists and tucking it into itself.
d) You follow these steps for each twist until you are done.

For a Bantu Knots Out
Just spritz your twists and carefully take it out.

The Bantu knots and Bantu knots out can be used as a style for a week or two.  

I love it.   I did mention that everyone can have Bantu knots even those with straight relaxed hair. Right?  So Knot away?  Question for the week - Should Bantu Knots be worn in professional settings?  Have Your Say.


History: history Bantu knots

Video: Bantu Knots Out Video

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago.” Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way. Remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair, and dealing with life’s issues every day. The day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient, or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad—just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you, my darling daughter.”

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This is my second Mother’s Day as a mom.  It’s been an interesting journey finding myself on this side of the greeting card. In the last year I’ve watched my little dude Ari learn to walk, talk—and master the iPad to an astonishing degree! In some ways his cute little fingers know their way around that thing better than me. And definitely better than my mother.

A few weeks ago my mom was visiting from Philadelphia. She was shocked to see how adept her now twenty-month-old grandson was on that iPad—finding his favorite dinosaur videos, counting along with his most beloved counting bears app! I invited my mom to join in on the iPad fun. She wound up getting flummoxed. I wound up getting frustrated.

“Don’t worry,” Howard told her. “Soon Ari’s going to be teaching all of us how to use all kinds of technology.”  We all laughed because we knew this joke wasn’t merely a joke.

Shortly thereafter I found this poignant post called “Letter from a Mother To Daughter” on a beautiful Facebook page called Spring In the Air. As I read the essay, I found myself getting teary eyed. It resonated on many levels—both as a newbie mom—and as an oldbie daughter. I needed to share.

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Karen Salmansohn is a bestselling author and award-winning designer with over one million books sold. She’s been on the Today Show, The View, Fox TV, CNN, etc  Her books—which offer a range of happiness and resiliency psychology tools—have been recommended on Oprah.com—including her best selling THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK and PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME which you can read more about at her site: www.notsalmon.com. Check out her newest book INSTANT HAPPY.

culled from positivelypositive.com

I received a Nike Fuel band from a friend of mine to review about two weeks ago.  For those who are my friends on any social networking site, I’ve been quite open that my ideal dress size is one size lower than where I am at currently.  I do a lot to try to get there from Zumba, Chick boxing, treadmill, eliptical and now I ‘run’.  I also took a nutrition course quite recently to keep on top of what I am doing food wise (I LOVE food), I love tea (green tea) and I am always keeping an eye on what is going on nutrition wise scientifically, so I can add or switch it up the more I learn.  I also use myfitnesspal as  a record keeper of what I eat.  I hope to reach my goal by the end of summer.   

The Nike Fuel band comes in two colors: black and white.  It arrived in a box that looks like a jewelry box. In the box there was an extra clip, a USB connector, instructions and more.  I believe the going rate in the market for the band is  about 150 dollars per box.  The fuel band calculates the calories burnt per day based on your activities, it also calculates your fuel , steps and time.  According to the Nike website, the Nike Fuel band is set to achieve three main objectives which are to track your day, set a goal and connect and go.

When you get your fuel band, you have to connect it to your computer  either directly or through the USB connector, upload your information and set up your profile which includes your goal.  Setting up the fuel band was very easy to do.  The iphone has an app which can be used to set up.

There are many things to like about the fuel band but I will mention just a couple:
a) The ease of set up.
b) The motivational push for those that are intrinsically motivated.  You often want to reach or beat your goal.
c) The included pedometer (steps measured).  As a side note, we have to walk at least 5000 steps per day to maintain our weight, anything lower will lead to an eventual weight gain.
d) A more accurate count of how many calories you actually burn per day through your activities.
e) Of course, the Nike Fuel you accumulate is also a plus.
f) For us non-watch wearers, the included watch is a great incentive to purchase this item.
g) The little robotic cheerleader that dances on our screen when we achieve our goals is very cute and an ego booster.
g) Connection to the world via Facebook or Twitter to share our progress.

But there are caveats and they are:
a)  The band is only iphone specific. Many of us are on Android phones and we see no reason to jump ship.  There is a need to create something for Android users.
b) The scientific how.  Many of us are not really clear on exactly how fuel or calories is calculated using this band.  Yes, we know that it is through a sport tested accelerometer but it all seems like PR jargon to us.  What is an accelerometer?  What is so special about a sport tested accelerometer? We need to know the how.  Is it from our weight, our steps, our imprint in the ground, our heart rate...the how is missing. To actually use this tool appropriately, you have to know how much calories is going into your body.

c) The Pressing.  You  have to press the button several times to read the information collected.  The led light only stays on for a few seconds.

d) More colors please:  Red and blue are definitely sexy colors.  Nike should include more colors in their range.

Should you purchase this item or not?

Personally, the Nike fuel band is really a pedometer  which acts as a motivational tool but if you are someone who needs a tool to keep you motivated to be fitter,  you are already nutrition conscious and you use food intake calculation tools like myfitnesspal then I recommend that you go ahead and purchase this item.

What should be the next step for Nike

Well, I believe that Nike should create a candy mouth slapper.  You know a tool that stings you when you touch that candy and take it closer to your mouth.  This sting should not be a temporary one but one that lasts all day.  I believe that using Pavlov’s principle with some pain included will keep candy addicts like myself away from candy and help us achieve our fitness goals a lot more quicker.   But jokes aside, more tools like this but ones that include calories taken in should be the next step for Nike.  It could even be added to the app when the app is modified and when they do decide to give android users access to it.

 

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TolumiDE in Oya! written by Tosin Otudeko and produced by Efosa Lawal. 'Oya' is Yorùbá word from Nigeria, which literally means 'the time has come' and colloquially means 'Come on, let's go!' An Afro-Highlife beat track with horns, percussions, smooth vocals and the use of Pidgin English. Be inspired, Enjoy.

follow:  

https://www.facebook.com/TolumiDEonline

Take a listen :  Listen

You can get your copy via Itunes.

Interview with Pamelastitch.com : Interview

Who am I? I am Mrs. Lerato Hungwe, wife to Professor Kagiso Hungwe, who is the chair of the Mathematics department.  I met my husband on one of his many journeys back home.  He was ready for marriage.  My folks felt that I was a cracked pot, since I was in my 40's and had never been married and I had no child. My husband chose me.The marriage was contracted. I figured that this was my last chance at finding happiness and that eventually, it will all work out and Kagiso and I will have a quiet home since we were obviously an older couple and past the age of the dramatics of ‘love’.  But, I didn’t bargain for this quietness, this snobbery and this strangeness in this new town.

Each day, I count the ticking ticks of the clock as I wait for my husband to return from work.  This was an opportunity to hold a conversation with someone in my language. My husband was very kind and tried to help around the house. Daily, he came up with new ways to surprise me and showed me how special I was to him but I was beginning to resent the freedom  that he had.

One day, it all changed.  I gained entrance to a world that I loved and my husband bought the entrance ticket.  He bought me a Google Nexus 10 tablet.  It was a beautiful tablet which opened the doorway into a different world.  Before he knew it, I was on top of the news, I was getting connected with my friends and family back home,I was no longer lonely as I found myself now with company as I went about my daily activities.  Now, I had the communication tools via facebook, email, skype and twitter to remain connected with my other life. I found myself walking that thin line between the real and the unreal.  Everything took an extra layer and I could not wait to get online to share everything that was going on around me and of course with a little oomph to make it extra tasty. I stopped needing my husband  and we had less to talk about. My marriage started taking a back stage to my online life.

Then one day it happened.  I got an add request from a young man on Facebook.  I wondered who this young man was and struck up a conversation with him.  There was just something about him.  He talked with charisma and he was able to draw me in. Soon my day was incomplete if I didn’t receive an email or facebook message or call from him. I found him to be highly intelligent and someone who knew a little bit about everything.  He introduced me to his world and soon I found my husband replaced by him.  I ran to him with my questions and even though he was far younger than I was, he had the answers to all the questions I had.  I was heading for trouble and I definitely knew this when I muttered his name during a sexual moment with my  husband. I knew that my marriage was in trouble when I could not get excited about sex with Kagiso without spending some private time alone thinking about Manyara’s huge hands touching my body boldly and intimately. Yes, his name was Manyara and he was African but also based in the United States. 


I knew I should stop my daily interactions with Manyara but I could not stop.  It was an addiction.  Each day, I fell deeper under Manyara’s spell and our relationship took a more sexual turn.  We found ourselves doing things on the Internet, sharing intimate photos and videos. I believed Manyara will keep all these as our little secret but I was wrong.

My husband had just left for work and I turned on my computer as usual.  There was an email from Manyara with a link to pictures and videos that I had been sending him.  He had taken his time to put it all in order as if collecting evidence against me.  He had also enclosed an email, promising to expose what I had been up to to my husband if I did not send him some money.   I tried to plead with him but he refused to listen.  He had all my information, including details of my husband’s life.  I did not know how to get the money.  I had  no job.  Then he offered to keep my secret if I introduced him to my husband.  I thought that was weird but I was so desperate that I took his offer.

I introduced Manyara to my husband and both of them seemed to hit it off.  Manyara seemed to forget about me as the weeks went by.  It was not strange to hear Kageso laughing with Manyara over the phone.  I was suddenly excluded from the relationship but I did not mind.  So, long as those images were kept away from public, I really did not care if they spent all night on the phone.  My  husband started changing.  He was no longer the kind, gentle man I used to know.  He used curse words and openly showed anger.  He had no problems using abusive words in our native language when he was angry with me.  Our marriage became a torture.  It came to a head when my husband refused to come back home but will spend days away from home without being at a conference and he won’t tell me where he was going or when he was returning home.


One day, I got back from shopping to meet my husband in tears.  I wondered at what was going on but was scared to ask him.  The monster that Manyara had created was ruling my home and how to approach a monster was one that was often too difficult.  With tears in his eyes, he said those words, ‘we have to meet Manyara on facebook today..he said that it is very important and it is imperative that we meet with him’.  I wondered at what Manyara had up his sleeves.

At 7pm, my husband and I sat in front of the computer.  For the first time in two years, he held my hand.  I wondered what was going on when he turned on  the chat option on facebook.

Manyara:  How are you two love birds today?

Kageso:  We are fine.  Enough with the chit chat , why did you want to speak to both of us?

Manyaro:  Patience Patience friend.  What happened to our friendship.  We used to share everything.  Now, you want me to dissappear. Tsk Tsk Tsk

Kageso:  I learnt too late that we were never friends...so say what you need to.

I wondered at the amount of anger I saw in Kageso’s face as he typed.

Manyara: all right. So you two  have been very very naughty.  Lerato has been sharing and showing her love to  me for sometime.  Kageso, before you become all pretentiously hypocritical, you’ve also been sharing your love too as well with me and Tindo. Yes, I knew about Tindo, I set it up. She shared everything with me.  Open your email and there are some images and videos that will be shared with your department in a week if you do not give me what I want.  

My world fell apart when he opened up the email and there were pictures of myself, myself and Manyara, Kageso and Manyara and Kageso and Tindo.  Compromising pictures that could tear my whole world apart.


Kageso:  Okay, what do you want?

Manyara:  We will start with 100,000 dollars and  of course, you know it is a given that I will be coming to meet you when I have used up that amount. If you do not meet my demands then you know that this will be all over your school and since you live in a very small town, this will be all over the news and you will not be able to show your face in public ever again.  Did you ever find out how old Tindo was?  He said with a smirk on his face.

Think on it.

And he went offline.

I looked at Kageso with tears in my eyes.  What do I say?  What can he say?  Yes, my relationship had been online while his had been offline.  His had been bisexual.  But, both of us had cheated.  

Kageso: it was only that one time.  I really don’t know what happened.  I don’t think I did anything.  I just woke up naked next to Manyara’s body.  I drank a lot the night before and I don’t remember anything.

I didn’t say anything.

Kageso:  I am so sorry.  I don’t know what to say but I don’t want to loose you.  You are my world.  I don’t know how we allowed this online stranger get into our relationship and create this mess. Please, forgive me.

As I watched my husband crying, I realized that I actually had fallen in love with him but I also knew that we had to leave as soon as possible.

I turned to my husband and gave him a hug.  “We were both in the wrong and I forgive you. We had some problems. We stopped communicating and that created the avenue for this stranger to come into our lives.   We need to get off Facebook, get offline, and change our numbers.  You also have to put in your resignation and we need to leave this town.”

I paused and looked at him.

“We can’t stay here.  We won’t be able to survive the onslaught when this comes out and it will be. Manyara is on a mission.    We have enough saved in our account to start afresh somewhere new and different.  Let’s start packing”.

We made all those changes and that night, he tendered in his resignation and in the dead of the night we stole out of town.

The end.


‘Andile’ and I were driving into a different part of his state and for some reason, we started talking about the bible in a modern day setting and all of a sudden he said a sentence that stuck with me and I wondered, hmmm, hmmm, hmmmm....why not.  So this story is dedicated to ‘Andile’ but as usual, if you read between the lines, you will see that it is directly from the bible.  Guess what part?  looool and the title is off Nollywood.  :D

As we loosen our grip from the handlebars of life and begin to let go of what we think we need to uphold, we become aware there is no-thing to uphold and realize we already are the masters of our own experience. When we refocus from within and let go of the out-dated agreements we carry, we then come in connection with our Sacred Heart, teaching us the wisdom of love that’s liberated from ego and fear.

To be a master of our own experience means to welcome and honor all parts our lives, including our mis-takes and causes of suffering, and continually allowing ourselves the freedom to learn from them and to take another chance.

Joseph Campbell said, “We must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

We must also forgive and let go so we may experience this inner state of love and mastery that awaits us.

As we begin to open our Heart Space and forgive, releasing others from prior mis-takes, we, in the same gesture, offer this gift to ourselves. Mastering our own experience requires us to have this structure in our own lives, so that we may extend to others. Grace is when we fully embrace the possibility that we and everyone else we meet are simply doing our very best using the life skills and tools we have and learned up to today. From this point, we can release our judgment of the past and expectations of the future and experience what this feels like to be firmly rooted in relationships of mutual acceptance for the purpose of growing and thriving with one another.

Charity is the ability to focus on the love inside another being for the purpose of looking past their limitation or fear. If we train ourselves to look directly through fear, we can experience what it feels like to give unconditional love to another. From here, we can experience the qualities in each other we desire for ourselves. So as a matter of self-interest and the benefit of others, let’s make space in our hearts, being present to our mis-takes, sharing forgiveness, and providing charity to ourselves and each beautiful sentient being we chance to meet, so we may also embrace each holy encounter with another and especially in a deeper level of intimacy with the ones we love the most.

When we live from a place such as this and surround ourselves with people in a community—common-unity—who regularly practice uncovering fundamental truths such as these, we are then able to make the mis-takes we need to make and be loved, while supporting others through their mis-takes and extend love and comfort to them.

Remember, to make a mis-take means we have stepped into action, and if we choose to accept the learning that accompanies our action, we change, transform, and grow and, in turn, become better equipped to affect the transformation of our planet.

A Course in Miracles says that every encounter we have with another being is whole and holy, divine in its nature. In accordance with this, it makes perfect sense that we extend forgiveness, love, and charity to others and ourselves so we may enjoy and accept our unique process of growth while on our path of service as we unfold into our Divine calling on earth.

In love and heart,

Amy

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Amy Alcini is the founder of Recycling Happiness™ and Heart to Heart Academy™. She is also a Heart Coach trainer at HeartMath Institute™, author, and mystic. Her new book Recycling Happiness: A Return to Heart is set to be released June 2013. To learn more about Amy, please visit her on Facebook.

 

culled from positivelypositive.com

Funke Akindele is a Nollywood actress who is famous for her role in the Yoruba movie - Jennifer, in which she plays the role of a village girl who finds herself in a university in the city.  She made razzness (being unsophisticated) seem cool and as such, some have type casted her in the role of the village girl who can’t speak or act properly.  In the movie, Married But Living Single, we see her break out of that role , try something new and do a good job of it.


Married but living single follows the story of an ad executive who has a problem with work life balance.  She gives her all to her job, looses her family and eventually her job in the process.  This movie goes out to show that though working is important, there are other factors that go into having a more fulfilled life.


There are many things to like about the movie and they are namely:

a) Funke Akindele did a phenomenal job as the ad executive.  She was able to translate emotions into the screen and you found yourself understanding her point of view and walking her struggle.

b) The supporting cast was on point and everyone did what they were there to do.

c) The plot.  This movie was a story within a story.  I believe we could call it a suspense because we find out what really is going on towards the end of the movie.

d)Scenes were on point and none went off tangent.  

e) The message.  I believe as working adults, it is very important that we learn the concept of balance.  Many give their all to their careers, jobs, etc and at the end of the day (basically, when they retire), they realize that they lost it all in the process.  They have no loves, no friends, no nothing, maybe they have some money, if they are lucky.  It is important that we do not get swallowed up by our aspirations.  That was a great message.

Caveats:

a) The message.  When Nollywood and Hollywood, showcase movies about females with an unbalanced work life balance, the blame is often pushed heavily on the woman.  Many times, I find myself asking, is the woman alone?  Where is her partner?  Why is her partner not speaking up or giving suggestions to alleviate the problem? A problem in a relationship is often a two part thing, no part of the partnership is ever completely innocent.  I will like to watch a movie in which there is complete ownership in responsibilities from both partners.  This is the same issue that I raised about Tyler Perry’s Temptation in my review.

b)The opening award scene should have been shorter and the dancing scene was unnecessary.

You can watch this via distrify.com

Listen to my review talking about Funke Akindele and the movie .

We love Kaysha.  He is Hot. He is FYNE. He can ‘SANG’ [sing].  He has created a niche within the Zouk music industry.  For those who aren’t familiar with Kaysha, he is the musician who sang that song ‘one love’  and he is from DRC but currently based in France.   Today’s Fresh Vibes is off his most recent CD, ‘raw like sushi’ and the song is called viver sem ti.  Listening to this song, takes you to a nice place where you are dancing slowly with a lover.......so nice... My only complaint about Kaysha’s video is that his vixens never look like people from our continent....just saying.. (looool, I am hating, I just want to be one of them ahem...true confessions!). But Kaysha, you are gifted, so really you can do whatever you want....(winkies).

Take a listen.

[listen]

 

Interview

Looool!!!  I came across a video last night as I was putting together information for someone.   It is a funny video.  I know some will be offended but you can't please everyone. This video cracked me up with its tie to an event that happened last year and natural hair which we often talk about on Thursdays that I just had to share.   For those on one side, get ready to laugh your tonsils out and for those on the other side, have a drink of cold water...AHEM!!!  :-D!!!

 

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